Relationship Questions and Answers
How Can Two People Mend Their Relationship?

How Can Two People Mend Their Relationship?



Question

My ex and I have been been broken up for four months now. We were in a long distance relationship, we were both full-time students and worked full time. We both made mistakes in our relationship and we've accepted that. He recently started messaging me that he loves me and wants to be in my life, but he hasn't shown me. I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt again or hurting him. How can two people mend their relationship and move forward? Is it possible?

Answer

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to pay attention to how people behave in a relationship. That means watching to see if their actions match their words.

It’s always beneficial to proceed cautiously in any relationship so you can take care of yourself and move your life in a positive direction. You might find it helpful to have many conversations with him where you talk calmly and kindly about things that are important to you and listen to each other. As you learn more about him, you can decide what’s best for you.

The idea is to get to know each other really well and communicate at a level where you can work together to mend your relationship. Consider taking it slowly and having many conversations before advancing to the fixing phase. Only move forward when he’s consistently behaved the way you want him to. Once you trust that he means what he says, you can work on a plan together to build a positive relationship.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values who you are and is willing to take the time to work on things.



Girls Asking Guys Out

Girls Asking Guys Out



Question

What's your take on girls asking guys out, and do you have any suggestions on how to do it? The reason I'm scared to ask this guy out is because I feel like it will make me seem controlling, like maybe take away his "manliness," if that makes sense?

Answer

Thank you for your question. It’s perfectly fine for people to ask each other out and it’s normal to be nervous. You might find it helpful to think about getting to know him well before you decide whether you want to be in a relationship with him. Spend some time with him and learn about him. Ask questions, listen to him and tell him about yourself. The more you both know each other the easier it will be to tell what the next step is.

As far as his behavior or how he may react, you can’t do anything about that. If he has issues about someone being controlling or losing his manliness then that’s for him to work on. All you need to do is be yourself and be friendly. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who likes you and wants to spend time with you.

Forgiving and Forgetting Past Wrongdoings

Forgiving and Forgetting Past Wrongdoings

Question

Hi. I was just wondering if you could help me with my situation. How do I help my boyfriend in forgetting and forgiving me over my wrongdoings in the past?

Answer

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the big lessons in any relationship is that you can’t do anything to change how people think or act, only they can do that.

The past is the past and we can’t do anything to change it. The only thing we can change is how we behave now. It’s up to your boyfriend to decide if he can deal with his own issues. It’s up to you to deal with yours.

You might find it beneficial to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. You deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are now.

Once you’ve thought about who you are and what you want you can talk calmly and kindly with your boyfriend and let him know. It’s OK to stand up for yourself and celebrate your positive behaviors. You can’t do anything about how he behaves but you can move your life in any direction you want.

You get to decide what kind of person you want in your life and keep in mind that it’s always a good idea to find someone who builds you up. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values the real you and helps you feel great. You’re worth it.

He Hasn’t Called Yet

He Hasn’t Called Yet

Question

I was flirting with a staff member at the club and he said, "I can't wait to bump into you off the clock," (because he was working and worried he would get in trouble). So, I gave him my number and he kissed my hand. This happened Saturday and he has yet to call or text. Was he not really that interested or has he just not got around to getting in contact?

Answer

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to tell what anyone is thinking in a relationship without asking them. Perhaps you might think about what you want to know about him and then talking with him. It’s also beneficial to pay close attention to his behavior and decide if it matches how you want to be treated.

Keep in mind that it’s important to move forward slowly and get to know him well before you decide if he’s a good fit for you. That will help you take care of yourself and make positive decisions. Also keep in mind that if someone is really interested in you they will treat you with respect, want to spend time with you and follow up promptly because they value who you are. Their actions will also match their words.

Far from Being in Love with Him

Far from Being in Love with Him

Question

I'm currently in a relationship were my partner has already decided I am his all and he loves me. I've been in love before and know I'm very far from being in love with him. He knows this and we've talked about it, but I don't know what to do. His strong feelings are driving me away but I don't want to leave because of it.

Answer

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to be clear and open with the other person in your relationship. That means letting them know how you feel in a kind and compassionate way. You might ask yourself a couple of questions to clarify what you want to do:

  • What does this person mean to me?
  • What’s my ideal relationship?
  • What do I want in a relationship?
  • What kind of relationship do I want with him?
  • What’s working for me, what’s not?
  • What is it about his strong feelings that is driving me away?
  • What would I tell him if I could and how would I do it?
  • What do I really want to do deep down inside?

The idea in life is to be in a relationship with someone who feels the same way about you that you do about them. Take some time to think carefully about what you want to do and remember that it’s better to be honest with someone than to drag something out and hurt them more later.

You might consider having a few more kind and calm conversations where you both tell each other what you think and feel and listen to each other without any interruptions or reactions. As you learn more about each other you’ll be able to make clearer decisions because you’ll have more information.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who meets your needs and so does he.