Relationship Questions and Answers

Problem with Lying



Question

My ex and I just recently broke up, and we're trying to stay friends. One of the major reasons we broke up is because I have a problem with lying. I hate disappointing him, so I try and cover things up with lies. I really love him and want to keep him in my life, and hopefully we can get back together in the future, but how do I get over my compulsive lying so we can work things out?

Answer

Thank you for sharing your situation. You might consider taking some time to figure out what's going on that is causing the lying. If it is because he is disappointed in you, then you might want to ask yourself whether this is the type of situation that is most beneficial for you. If you are lying for some other reason, then you might want to look at yourself.

The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to keep lying. You can change your behavior and find an alternative. For example: Each time you feel like lying, do something else instead. It doesn’t have to be big, you could just say nothing or you might tell the truth. It’s up to you what you decide to do.

Once you practice not lying for a while you will establish a new way of communicating. It’s always important to tell the truth in a relationship because you can’t build a healthy relationship on lies. Positive relationships are based on being open and telling the truth.

Take some time to think about what kind of relationship you really want. If you need help, it’s OK to talk with a therapist. Remember that you deserve to tell the truth and be with someone who appreciates the real you.



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