I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now. A few days ago, he broke up with me saying that I deserved someone better and that most of our problems are because of him and his wrongdoing. However, he asked me to get back together with him because he cannot live without me and that he'll try to work on himself and make things better for us. I decided to give him a chance but, as usual, nothing seems to be getting better even though we had a long chat about it. It's just getting worse. What can I do?
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to pay close attention to how people behave in a relationship. The way your boyfriend is behaving now is likely how he’ll behave in the future. It could even get worse. That’s because people tend to repeat the same behaviors unless they consciously work to change them, preferably by going to a therapist. It takes a long time and a lot of effort to change one’s behavior.
It’s up to you to decide what you want in a relationship and how you want to be treated. It’s OK to ask for what you want in the relationship. Perhaps you could take some time to think carefully about what’s working and what’s not working for you. Then think about how this relationship help you live a positive life. Once you’ve clarified what you want to do you can talk calmly and kindly with him and let him know what you want. You can’t do anything about what he decides to do but you can choose the path you take.
It’s always beneficial to think in terms of being in a relationship that helps you grow, succeed and move in a positive direction. Remember that you get to decide who you let into your life and how you want to be treated. You’re that important.